To Hell and Back
by Doopey12
Summary: A year after the Cullen's left Bella she hit rock bottom she found out the true meaning of pain. But she became determined she would overcome, she wouldn't waste her life. She would live.
1. Chapter 1

**To Hell and Back Again**

Disclaimer - All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer and I am not making any money from this story.

Here is a new story I have started, I hope you like it.

It takes place just over a year since the Cullens left. Bella found out about the wolves earlier in this story. So Jake hasn't had much chance to become her 'sun' but he had just started to help her heal. P

Please leave a review and tell me what you think :D

And on with the story.

 **Chapter one**

It's cold. Raining. Yet here I stand outside for hours. Everyone has already left but I just can't make my legs move. They are numb just like the rest of my body. I can't breathe, there is a gaping whole in my already broken heart. I don't know how I am going to cope with this pain, it's so much worse now. I didn't think it was possible. I didn't even get to say goodbye, the last time I saw him I never told him how much he meant to me and how glad I am that I came to forks. But now he is gone. Charlie. Dad.

Some drunk driver pulled out at a junction at collided with his car straight on. I was told he died on impact but it doesn't make it any easier knowing he didn't suffer. That he went quickly with no knowledge of what was happening. I pull in deep breaths trying to hold in the terror that grips onto my soul. I thought I was alone before but now... now I was really alone. I had no one. I could go and see Renee but I didn't belong there anymore. I didn't belong anywhere.

My legs collapse from underneath me but before I reach the ground I am caught with scorching arms. Jacob. I presumed he left with the rest of his pack, but I should have known better. He wouldn't leave me out here alone. I give in to the sobs as he carries me in his arms to my fists clench on his shirt in a vice grip. He was the only one here that understood how broken I really was but no matter how hard he and his pack tried I never truly belonged with them. Not me. The vampire girl. Even if I haven't spoke to them in over a year. I can't believe that Alice didn't see this, didn't come and help even if he told them not to. She was my best friend, my sister. Underneath the grief another emotion was creeping through. Anger. Anger at them for leaving, for not being here when I needed them the most. I focused on the anger it helped the feeling of drowning on sorrow ease slightly. It cleared my mind for the first time in months.

"Bella...honey, you need to let go"

The voice of Jake broke through the red mist that was descending over me, I took in my surroundings and realised he and put me in my truck but couldn't move as I still had a death grip on his shirt. I unclenched my fist and brought them to my lap, Jake's hand engulfed both of mine for a brief second before he let go. He shut the door and moved round to the driver's side, he slipped in silently and started up the engine. I looked out of the window watching as forks sped by on the trip back home. No. Not home anymore, it was now an empty shell, just like me.

My tears were silently traveling down my cheeks, the sobs have stopped by the tears were endless. As we neared the house I prepared myself to enter. I wanted to refuse, to run away and never to return to this hell. But I couldn't I had to go back in, to get things sorted. His things. My eyes closed as another wave of pain engulfed me, a warm hand took hold of one of mine and brought it to the middle of the seats. Jake wouldn't leave me alone tonight, even if I told him to leave he would just change into wolf form and stay in the woods next to the house.

The engine of the truck turned silent, I opened my eyes and here we were. I couldn't move I just stared, how was I supposed to go in there knowing I would never see my dad again. Knowing he would never bring in a new batch of fish, never would I walk in on a Rangers game. A whimper must have escaped me because Jake pulled me onto his lap and started stroking my hair.

"Shh, Bells it will be ok, I'll never let you be alone. I will always be here for you!" I turned to look in his eyes, and I wanted to believe him, to believe in the hope that was shining in his eyes. But how could I. My eyes slowly drifted back to the house but I made no move to get out of the truck. I still just wanted to run away, to forget about everything that happened. But I couldn't. I remembered how torn up he was when I was a 'zombie'. I couldn't do that anymore, not now. I would live. I would live for my dad.

It didn't seem possible at the moment that there would be anything other than heart wrenching pain, but even if that pain never went away I would become better at hiding it. I wouldn't waste my life when he had his stolen away to early. I wish I could have thought of this when he was still alive, and show him that the Cullens hadn't ruined me forever. I guess it took the pain of losing Charlie to show me what real pain is, not the mediocre pain I felt when Edward left. Speaking his name didn't hurt not when I was in too much pain already.

I opened the drivers side door and climbed of Jake onto the ground. Walking slowly up the garden the house looked terrifying, like it would swallow me up whole if I dared enter. My steps faltered, I couldn't do it. Then I was aware of a presence by my side, he took my hand and I held on like he was my raft saving me from drowning. I would be selfish for a bit longer and use Jake's strength to help me get through the worst of this. But I would get through this.

I set of walking to the front door again with Jake by my side. As I stood unlocking the door I vowed to my dad that I would make him proud, I wouldn't disappoint him any longer. As I stepped over the threshold I vowed to leave the weak part of me behind, it wouldn't hold me back any longer. So as I stepped into the house I left my heart outside.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer - Stephanie Meyer owns all of the characters and I am not making any money of this story.

Here we are chapter 2! Hope you liked the first chapter. Bella is still in a lot of pain in this chapter but things will get moving my the end.

Please review I would love to hear what you guys think! Thankyou !

 **Chapter Two**

It had been a week since Charlie's funeral. I have had people come round knocking on the door but I never answer. I can't, not yet. Everyday I try to ignore a bit more of the pain trying to make it bearable so I could do what I promised. To live. I had started sorting out his items boxing up and labeling them. I only wanted one thing. His favorite jumper everything else will be given to his friends down on the reservation. The house was to be sold in a months time that was the time limit I had set myself. To get everything sorted and to get out of Forks.

I couldn't live here now I thought I would always stay just incase the Cullen's came back but now I would rather be lost to them forever. If it was up to me I would never see them again. Anger had become a constant companion to me over the past week. It helped me when I was sorting through Charlie's things, it helped keep the sorrow away.

Jake had stayed that first night but left the next morning to get changed and have a shower. We had stayed on the couch the whole night, he held me until the tears finally stopped and sleep came. That night I had leaned on him allowing him to help me through this. But he didn't know the plan that I was making, the plan that took me away forever. I wouldn't tell him, I couldn't he would try and convince me to stay but there was nothing here now except painful reminders. I had to go. So I stayed silent and when I let him go that morning I silently said my goodbyes.

He came round again of course but I just ignored his knocking and the threats that he used to try and get me to open the door. He wouldn't force his way in thinking I would want my space, he would know I was ok by my heart beat and the fact he could also hear me moving around. I don't think I have been left alone though, I'm sure there is always one wolf watching my house from the woods.

I ignored the knocks, I ignored the shouting. I focused on what I had to do, beat the pain, sort the house and leave. Only my promise to Charlie was keeping me together, preventing me from falling apart. Every night I cried myself to sleep and every morning I cleared all evidence of a breakdown in the shower. Even if no one could see me I was determined to keep it all inside, no one would know how much pain I was in.

I flinched as some started banging on the front door.

"Bella ... answer this door!"

Jake was back. My fingers clenched into the box I was sorting through, the tears in my eyes threatened to spill over and for one second I was tempted to open the door, let him in. Let him help with the packing but I knew I wouldn't be able to say goodbye again. He would convince me to stay and I would I would feel too guilty to leave. I stood there for a moment taking deep breaths, breathing through the new wave of pain. Once I had it under control I relaxed my stance and carried on with the task on hand.

"Bella please just let me in. I can help you don't have to go through this alone."

No. I had to be alone. It was the easiest way, he would realise that soon. After a few more rounds of knocking on the door he left. I thanked my lucky stars that he left so easily. Maybe he was finally getting the hint and realising that I didn't want any help.

Looking around at the front room, it made me think of all the happy memories in here, even the ones with Edward. Then I noticed the small pile of boxes next to the front door and the fleeting moment was over. I would never have any more happy memories in this place. That's why it was going up for sale by auction at the end of the month. I could leave and my solicitor will sort out the details and transfer the money into my bank.

I walked slowly into the kitchen thinking about what I still had left to do. I had sorted through my things yesterday, I wasn't keeping much just enough to get me out of forks. I had started on Charlie's room, but all I had to do in there was to finish sorting through his wardrobe.

I will probably be able to leave within another week, I didn't think I could get through everything this fast. The only major problem I faced was getting out of forks. If Jake saw me leave he would chase me and he would find a way to stop me I'm sure. I needed to sneak out before anyone could tell him, before anyone can stop me. But how. If I'm right there is a wolf watching my house at all times, making sure I am still safe. Surely as soon as I leave the front door they will either follow me in the woods or they would go straight to Jake and tell him I am leaving. My only hope is that Jake isn't the one watching me from the woods, he would come out to talk whereas the others will just stay in the shadows.

I shake my head and make my way back upstairs I will worry about that when the time comes. I go back into Charlies room, I hate coming in here it is just too painful! But necessary so I am able to leave I wouldn't want to abandon all of his things here and not know they went to the people who loved him.

With a sigh I make my way back to the wardrobe and carry on filing his clothes away. Suddenly I am brought out of a daydream by loud thud from downstairs. I freeze on instinct and listen closely to see if I can hear any footsteps or other noises. Nothing. I slowly creep over to the door and poke my head out, everything looks normal and there aren't any more noises. So I walk to the top of the stairs and try and sneak down into the front room where the noise originated from but as I walk down the steps I feel a cold chill go up my back. Something wasn't right.

As I step into the living I feel the air trap in my lungs, I can't breathe. How is this possible ? Someone has written on the wall, only one word. Bitch. But that wasn't what caused the terror to grip at my spine, it was the fact the word was written in bright red blood. Desperately trying not to pass out at the sight I quickly look round the living room to see if anything else is there and as my eyes pass the window I can't help the scream that builds up my throat and escapes.

There stood across the road was Victoria.


End file.
